This year has been rather amazing and trying. I really feel like my faith was stretched miles and miles each and every direction. It's when you think you have the faith for something and then it happens to knock at your door and you say "boy oh boy where in the world is the faith I thought I had!?" I really feel like my relationship with God was even put to a test in many ways. Like the saying goes "When the rubber meets the road" what are you believing and who do you believe. Ouch or amen! I feel that many parts of my life was put to a test and I know I kicked and screamed and cried and pouted and thought....am I even saved....Is God really living in a heart that is so sinful. How can I feel this way and be a christian? I am thankful that I have had many breakthroughs throughout and have passed some test but then there are some I feel I failed. I know God through His amazing mercy and love for me is giving me another chance to contin
A short little post to let you know I AM OK!! I know the last post was rather hopeless than hopeful. I am doing much better and I do feel like there has been a bit of a breakthrough in my attitude. I have been letting every little thing on this journey bother me so very much. It doesn't matter what it wass....it was bothering me. I was even snappy to my mother-in-law the other day and it wasn't very pretty or Christ Like at all!! :( I am so very thankful my mom-in-law loves me unconditionally and embraces me even when I am ugly. Seriously! I was letting everything bother me!! I had been making myself out to be a burden or a "visitor" rather than a daughter. I wasn't allowing myself to be accepted rather I was making myself out to be a burden. A burden that no one had put on me. I did this to myself by listening to the enemy's lies. After a good talk with my mom-in-law and with the Lord, I realized the ugliness in my heart. I shed quite a
I guess I need some sort of encouragement. I haven't been happy lately.... I don't know why this is getting to me so incredibly bad but I hate feeling like this. I've taken it to the Lord and it still remains. I am waiting for His supernatural grace to complete me. I know He's given it to me but it still gets so hard. You wonder what's hard.... Well.... I guess it's the whole thing of not having my own place, not having much money, not being able to shop for groceries to make my own meals, not having my husband to join our evening routine or sitting around the dinner table after he gets home from work, having to share the house with others all the time, In need of some time alone, flexibility, thoughts I'm not doing enough around to help my in-laws, beating myself up for not doing a better job as a mother around my in-laws thinking I'm acting like such a weak Christian and what in the world is wrong with me?? thinking I'